November 30, 2022

Waking up at sunrise to study, sleep, study, sleep, and then study. It's a whole process and it surprisingly works. The sky is dim. I can feel the humidity (my worst enemy). But it's comforting today somehow. I can't believe I used to never study. It's good that I actually love studying. Back then when I didn't study for school, I was already studying for other hobbies. I'm lucky I have this weird strong immunity to the burn-out syndrome. I do know I'll get it sooner or later. I'm only somehow lasting longer that I should be.

November 29, 2022

Math is good. I love my poems. Why isn't this one dude taking a hint? This one guy abruptly forced himself into our group since he knows that being in ours means a guarantee to getting a high grade. He treated us so terribly though. I did not speak the whole day because I was mad. I don't get mad often. I let people use me but not to this extent. I literally blocked all his contacts and everything.

November 28, 2022

I'm really really confident about my test results. Max like 2 mistakes. I somehow found the time to watch the ever-so-famous 90s romcom 10 Things I Hate About You and it was so good. I did panic after a bit because I suddenly was made aware that we have like 3 more tests. Went back to studying.
There's this one guy in my class I desperately want to cut off.

November 27, 2022

Yesterday was very productive. Today will be too. I always have my entire day planned out but today is quite specific. I studied all day. I even managed to write poems, read a book, learn some more piano pieces, and go to some band function with food and stuff. I was still studying bringing around my gazillion papers, clipboard, and prints, of course.

November 26, 2022

Orthodontist appoinment once more. My mom noticed how pale I was and how deep my undereye bags were. She told me that sometimes she'd wake up in the middle of the night and worry about me. I know, it's sad. Maybe my self-neglection in terms of my own health is becoming much more evident. It's frequently pointed out too. In my defense, I really cannot fail. I finished making my reviewers and casually decided to meet up with Sine at a cafe. We studied and I'd say it was very effective. 10/10 would always recommend.

November 25, 2022

Club wasn't so terrible. I wrote a short poem. There was this event at school and so it was filled with booths so like any other person, the first instinct was for me and Sirko took part in the food binging phenomenon. I was trying not to buy any sweets because I was still kind of sick... I shortly gave in and got cookies.
As we were about to leave, Lane approached us! She came up to us with a teary happy eyes. She told us she cut classes. For context, she's a student leader, she doesn't cut classes. Turns out this dude she's liked for a while who allegedly liked another person was only saying he liked another person to make her jealous. That he has liked her this time. Okay, I'm missing the part wherein he actually had a plan to confess on anart gallery date but the crammed school schedule did not allow it. So they just went and skipped classes then for an hour straight talked about the person they like (and this was before they knew it was each other). It was like super slowburn because we all thought he was leading her. But then again, he bought a chess board just to play with her. If that's not love then I have no idea what is. Me and Sirko received that news out near the field so I maybe couldn't contain my scream. I'm pretty sure people looked my direction.
The moment I stepped home I passed out. A common pattern nowadays. Had time to read one of Agatha Christie's book so I did that. I solved it on my whiteboard and to be honest it was very anti-climactic.

November 24, 2022

I got perfect scores or atleast a mark off on all results that was given back. I was still the highest. I'm still sich though. Rip. I talked with an old friend and it made me realize how proximity can really bring out conversations.

November 23, 2022

Today I'm taking care of myself. I love being a girl. Everytime I go through this entire stressful week, I can treat myself at the malls and do every girly pampering stuff ever. I woke up at 7am to study first, obviously. Nutshell of the first half of today: had a couple appointments, learned some more piano pieces, and finished any remaining school works in my detailed schedule.
I discovered dabloons. Update: Dabloon economy is going down.
I love raccoons. Isn't it funny that they steal and they look like robbers with the black masks and gloves and everything? They're the universes' practical joke. The first book I ever bought from a school book fair was this National Geographic one about raccoons. I will alwyas love raccoons.
My body is failing me once again. I had a melt down because I knew I was getting sick and I can't afford to get sick. I need to study. I facetimed my friends and I told them I can't do my work but I know I can. They told me they trusted me. They told me they know. They told me they knew how smart my mind is smart but my body can't handle it. I needed to rest. I love my friends.

November 22, 2022

Made someone sign a confidentiality contract. Today was way too chaotic. I can't even begin to say anything about it. I'll leave it be because I can't really process anything anymore either. Finally bought myself Disney plus atleast.
Okay, let me tell you how proud I am of my friend group. Sirko got like A*s on her chem and math. I had another facetime session with Sirko and she helped me with some math problems. I fully get it now and I just love how we help each other. It's not often you'd find someone who'd celebrate your accomplishments with you. People will always be able to emphatize more when you're down than when you're genuinely happy about something. See it can go either ways in which (1) one might be there for you as their personal act of altruism. What I mean by this is that sometimes people feel good about themselves knowing that they're making another person feel better. This is not to be cynical but there's a sense of accomplishment when you're helping someone. In the second case scenario, (2) one might be there in a way wherein they're just getting gossip out of you. People just inherently like drama especially when they're not involved.
It's weird how I always psyche myself out and end up breaking down.

November 21, 2022

We had this little race in class. It was about balancing equations. I was so fast that I won every point ever. I would literally be done solving the problem and It'd take everyone else 5 or 10 more minutes to solve the same thing. The was a huge ego boost in my brain. It was a group thing too. So it was me against the entire class. Our group (that I totally hard carried) was merrited like plus points for our pre-finals test.

November 20, 2022

My entire body refused to sleep. I'm dreading tomorrow so so much. I have way too many things to study and so many projects to make. First thing I did in the morning (after I showered obviously) was study. I eventually encountered a minor problem. Sleepyness. I did two 5 minutes timers and woke myself up by with a cold chocolate drink. I facetimed Sirko to write out feature article. Isn't that adorable? I'm composing myself for tomorrow. Wish me luck!

November 19, 2022

Bright suns! My mom just updated me on my personal library and my little secret studio they were making on our farm. Ever since she permitted me to go on Taylor's concert in LA, she has been sending me news about her in iMessage and I just love it. Earlier, I got the news that Taylow had 3.5 billion ticket requests, and my mom was my source! Went out for a semi-grocery shopping and the rest of the day was just normal. I like normal days.

November 18, 2022

Math is killing my brain. Pop quizzes are killing my brain. I think I still did well. At lunch we continued Ria’s birthday!
I also made a new friend today ^^. She game me her Ace (Portgas) hat keychain. I told her I’d give her another keychain in return. I have the perfect one in mind! It’s this little keychain from Nintendo World that has this puzzle function. It’s cool!
After class I went out on a date with Sine at McDonald’s. There was this new Christmas special menu and I had to get it! We wandered around and I got a ribbon for my hair.
Finally home, I wouldn’t day this day was too eventful but there sure was a relatively lot of stuff that has occurred. I listened to some audiobooks while simultaneously making mock exams (which I’m really good at and everyone can vouch for it because I swear everything I put comes out in tests — people are very predictable i guess). I gathered more information for a feature article I need to write about tomorrow. Finished two short books and I plan on reading two more for tomorrow! I then devised this plan to sleep around 11, wake up at 12, then continue studying.

November 17, 2022

Disney confirmed a Princess Diary 3 on the making. Everybody knows how much I love that movie. I've written some papers about it too. I'm like really near school and for some weird reasons, I'm always late. Or atleast super punctual like at the exact time of whenever class starts. All those memorization I did yesterday was useless by the way. It was a formative. I once again helped a lot of people with whatever they need for school. I really like helping people.

November 16, 2022

Place a poppy in my hair. Me and Sirko got Taylor Swift tickets!! We survived the graet war! I'm in absolute disbelief. Ticket Master was cruel. I saw so many other Swifties sobbing from how highly in demand the tickets were. Resellers already had their prices up at 20 fricking grand. Almost every real fan I've come across got nosebleed tickets (including us). I'll try and buy more tickets at gensale and maybe try for other shows. I need a 100 seats.
Back to studying, I memorized a bit too much for the reason that I will never be messing up as badly as I did yesterday. Did some more studying for more tests then slept.

November 15, 2022

Writing more papers. Won a debate. Like literary talked with dead air after I asked questions. It was an easy swept which is very disappointing because I prepared a bit too much. Obviously I cna't go on with my day without messing up. I choked one on my class presentations then just stayed frozen. The first word I uttered was Sirko. I repeatedly said it since I was in a state of panic and as the lump was forming in my throat, I just ran out the hallways to her room. Looking back, that moment was actually so cinematic. You know how you have to blink whenever you're crying to make your tears go down? I was trying so hard not to blink and yet the tears were all non-stop flooding down my face. I didn't eat anything this day.

November 14, 2022

Free day. I read some books, learned some new piano and guitar pieces, and relaxed for a bit. Then I continued writing a paper for school because for some weird reasons, they just never run out.

November 13, 2022

Thinking about cancelling all my plans. I met up with Sine at uptown again and we watched Wakanda Forever. I spoiled the entire thing which, I know, horrible. But I swear they should appreciate me. I'm pointing out every easter egg ever and I give them context. We were wearing matching Tim headbands I got from USJ. Basically treated the place like it was some kind of amusement park. Bought some legos because I actually have no sense of self control. Then I realized I needed to change my screen protector... I cracked it immediately after I got it replaced infront of the lady who literally just fixed it. Then I bought another.

November 12, 2022

First thing I needed to get over with was this video I was editing for a class. Then what follows was pretty much just any other regular day. Went to my orthodontist, got x-rayed which is always cool, had my breakfast in Starbucks, and dyed my hair once more. It was uncessful and the color barely showed. But hey, if anything goes wrong, I can always wear a wig.
People pay in theraphy to achieve the sensitivity level I have. Being sensitive is the best thing ever. If only people knew how long it took me to be in touoch with my emotions again. Being overrly sensitive is being aware of your surroundings and knowing how to put yourself in other's shoues. Sure, I might be overthinking everything. But recogizing another's feeling isn't just some altruistic act, if more people were sesitive, everyone would've given way for each other and we'd live a lot more peacefully. Being sensitive makes it so that I can notive the slightest changes in my environment and gain intense feelings over it. I wish more people were like this. At midnight, I facetimed with Rhett and it felt nice because we haven't talked in like the longest while.

November 11, 2022

I always cry when I'm with Sirko. I excused myself out and kind of just cried in the bathroom. I had club and it was horrible because I didn't get the position I wanted. Sirko reassures me and told me that she once made her older sister read one of my works and she was in awe saying I was so good at writing. And she's been through writing competitions! To Sirko I can admit, that I'm just too soft for all of it. After club, I went to uptown with Sine and went out on a little Starbucks date with her (still using the Mavis name). The temporary escape of me going out to ignore my feelings was shortly disrupted when I got home and saw the messages from my friends asking me how I was. I love them so so much and they have no idea how much they mean to me.

November 10, 2022

I drew stars around everyone's hands. My classmates lined up to get stars drawn on their hands. It was the absolute cutest thing ever. It was cute but it definietely fed my God complex.

November 09, 2022

Found time to watch Enola Holmes 2. God of War: Ragnarok released today and the line was very long. We waited and managed to get a copy. Cool, cool. Went to the bookstore and found a bunch of good classic books. I guess they restocked too. I looked for the one book Nefer recommended and I can't wait to read it. It was a children's book so finding it was actually so hard. I got the 100th edition, so that's awesome too.

November 08, 2022

Went uptown again to hang out with Sine. It was one of those after school spontaneous plans. I should find a new term for that because at this point, this happens every week. How about fedoras? Just the first thing that came into my mind.
The origin of my Mavis Starbucks name.

November 07, 2022

A series of embarassing events. I don't even want to talk about it because by recognizing it, it might become an actual memory. Me and Sirko created this "Paris" place inspired from Taylor's song Paris and essentially it's that feature in Instagram where you can hide your messages (vanish mode) and there, we can gossip but everything in that place can only stay there and once everything is deleted, we are to forget about it. We had the best Paris ever and we both got Karma-ed so hard when at the end of the day, we each had a bunch of embarassing stories to tell each other. And I can vouch for it being real embarassing. After I got home, I tried dyeing my hair. It was unsuccessful so I will be trying again. Nefer, the new character who suddenly texted me one random day, was giving me hair dyeing tips! Will try recoloring after a few days. Wish me luck.

November 06, 2022

Flight back home. Got some Dior stuff at the airport too. On our way back in the car, my mom was even casually talking about Taylor's concert and I swear I still can't believe it. Incredibly tiring day. Unpacked my stuff (packing and unpacking are one of my two favorite things to do).

November 05, 2022

Breakfast. Taylor Swift. Here's the context: I was casually having breakfast with my parents, I brought Taylor Swift up, my mom nonchalantly said that I can go to her concert. The Era's Tour Concert. Not even a second after she said we're going to go on summer, both my parents got up and left me. Right Where You Left Me (get it?) in awestruck, speechless state, unable to process what had just happened. They said they'll get the tickets to LA and I can get the Taylor tickets immediately. I'm going to Taylor's Era Tour with my best frined Sirko. I somehow managed to continu eon with my day,go on trains, even buy more Vivienne Westwood. I'm going to The Taylor Concert with Sirko.

November 04, 2022

Checked in at another hotel near Tokyo Bay. We had a new set of food in the breakfast buffet and it was nice. We went to Disney Sea and I had this awesome Idea of wearing those Blue Lock jerseys, a beanie, and literally no pants. I think I froze to death. The rides we went to was fun. When we went on that one Journey to the Center of the Earth ride, I experienced this flashback of my first time riding there. The weird sea creatures came and I new the drop would happen. God I love rollercoasters. Passed out after I got back into the hotel.

November 03, 2022

I saw Connor! Yup. I'd say that's the main event for the day but I some few pieces from Vivienne Westwood. I love Vivienne Westwood.
I was texting with Sirko on the subway and we had this one discussion before about how every friend has one flaw and you just have to accept it. After thinking about the friendship we specifically have, we've both decided that we don't think we've ever seen a flaw in each other. Atleast not the detrimental for our friendship kind. So here's our conclusion: We dont see flaws in each other because we have similar flaws which then therefore cancels everything out. It's so funny because how can we be so perfect for each other?
Another notable event, three years ago before the pandemic, we would go to Shibuya once or thrice a year. We would always go to this one particular ramen place. We went to this place again and to our surprise, the same family still runs the place.
Nefer. Potential new character in my life.

November 02, 2022

It's my mom's birthday. We went to Disneyland. Whenever we need a map for anything, everyone expects me to look at it and just automatically memorize everything. I love navigators but it's ironic because I get lost in Minecraft every 5 seconds but I actually am great at reading them. Not like it's hard but most people are too lazy to be bothered you know? It's fun though. I wandered the park multiple times again. I love it when I'm left unsupervised. My baby brother is finally tall enough to ride the Space Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain. He had the red tag and surprisingly, there wasn't any long lines that took place. He's been to Disneyland for probably 4 or 5 times already or more... He's only 4 years old. We watched the parade at the end and my baby brother recognized a bunch of characters because he's finally old enough to know who they are. I don't ever get tired of Disneyland. I'm going to be a child forever because that's how I want it. I don't want to grow old and I love enjoying my time. My older brother was pissed the whole day because the reception was bad and he couldn't talk to his girlfriend, but that didn't even stop me from still having fun.

November 01, 2022

Maybe I always disappear because I'm actually god doing god duties. Took the shinkansen to visit the Osaka Castle, shopped for stuff in Dotonbori, then transferred to Tokyo. I wore like my favorite garment ever. This certain garment has this elaborated back story of how it came to me. Long story short, this piece of clothing and I were tied togther by a red string. It's Sirko's favorite too because of that story.

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