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October 31, 2022

I am the chosen one. Fun Fact, one of the things that makes the Star War's Franchise amazing is the fact that there wouldn't be any Star Wars without Anakin. Everything revolved around him because he's the chosen one. Perfect plot. I've been waiting for this day for like 2 years now. It's Halloween. I love Halloween. You get to dress up and everyone around you is dressed up too. We were in Universal Studios and although I wanted to wear my Slytherine set, Anakin will always weigh much greater in choosing a better costume. I remember I even practiced the Obi-Ani Spin a while back. Extremely fun day. Night time, I got chased around by zombies and whatever creatures. Made friends with the One Piece cosplayers. I just loved how I was Anakin and everything else followed. A kid approached me too and literally said "woah" in awe of my costume. Probably was another Star Wars fan. I love that he even recognized me. I know it's popular but an entire amusement park filled with people in costumes at Halloween and I could swear with every fiber in my body that not one was wearing anything Star Wars related. I'm pretty sure I explored the park for like 3 times because I have no idea. This isn't my first time in Universal Studios Japan either. I'd say it was the Halloween spirit. I love Halloween.

October 30, 2022

Possibly the best breakfast ever. It tops the Egg Bennedict I had like a few years ago. We took the shinkansens and even though I can't read Kanjis (only Hiragana and Katakana...), I've had previous experience with trains here already. So we went to Kyoto and visited Kinjaku-ji, the Bamboo Forest, Fushimi Inari-Taisha, had dinner with the Geisha show thing, and went back to the hotel. Very busy day. We've had past visits with some of the places we went to today - but the sceneries will still never fail to astound me. Also I bought a chess board and played with my brother but I still lost.
I also woke up today with like a bunch of long messages from acquiantances... They were apologizing for I don't know what.

October 29, 2022

Early flight. I played music and time went by so quickly. My brother and I had seats next to each other so we talked a bit. We had like one of those deep talks and I swear, he's the only one who can change my frame of mind. Arrived at the hotel at Osaka (Universal Port) and rested. I know Pewds is like near where we were staying because he posted stories about it. That's epic I think.

October 28, 2022

After school, I went to a dog cafe with my friends. It was like the funniest thing ever. And I swear dogs love me. While I was out, it was pointed out to me that I actually know a lot of people. Cause every 5 seconds, I'd come across someone I know and say hi. It doesn't make any sense because I always swear people hate me... but then people are keeping their connections with me? I'm like a social butterfly who isn't a butterfly... like a moth! who's pretending to be a butterfly... that is the single most exhausting thing in the world.
I started packing for a trip while in a Facetime with Ria, Sirko, and Lane. We were gossiping and It felt awesome. People say you should pack like a week before... but I really don't have the time.

October 27, 2022

Safe to say I obliterated everyone in Connect 4. I'm too good. I just never lose. I finally experienced that Injustice story that happened with my brother in the arcade. I remain undefeated. We had this like little project wherein we had to dress up as characters from the Franchise of Despicable Me. Great stuff.
People aren't so great however. I am too soft for all this (yup, a Taylor reference).

October 26, 2022

I made spontaneous plans again. I finished up some projects I had, played the piano a bit because I was restless and fidgety. Missed my first plan to spend the day with a bunch of people I don't know. They're a year older and I was invited because of my brother's girlfriend. I went to the cafe down the block and met up with Sine and another friend. We studied there and it was very nice.
I explained to my friend the song Would've Could've Should've and he actually cried. It crippled me to be honest.
We dd finishe a lot of stuff and it was an overall great study group session. Will be doing again, same place.
I had this common friend with this one guy I stopped being friends with. Apparently the friendship termination notice I sent only processed in his brain after like 6 months. Too bad for him.

October 25, 2022

I could barely focus in class. U had like 10 different accounts, browsers, tabs, and whatever else I could use to stream Taylor Swift's new album Midnights. Taylor is about to take over all te top 10 spots in the Billboard Hot 100. I was following every streaming rule too.
October 01, I had this one thoughts index question entry. I've decided that obscurity doesn't measure one's (great) taste in music. Child Cy really loved Taylor Swift. She was a fan. She stopped listening to Taylor because she taught Taylor was overrated. I rediscovered this year how lyrically genius Taylor actually is and I regret falling off her fandom. I've listened to every single genre of music ever (atleast I'd like to think I have). It's sad coming across people who hate Taylor because she's overrated. Trust me, I spend hours in music apps looking for songs with the lowest streams ever. You can always enjoy overrated and underrated music.
I was editing this project we had and I ran into a problem. The application I was using kept on crashing during import. I tried buying the subscription and everything. I was speedrunning it until like fricking dawn. So horrible.

October 24, 2022

Studying. Did a bit of advance studying for math. It went pretty well. Given that I did fall asleep while watching some youtube videos. Finally updated my blog so yay!

October 23, 2022

A wizard day. I napped every chance I got. I wasn't doing anything academically important so I decided to practice writing with my non-dominant hand. My hands have been hurting for like a month now. For the remains of the day, I relearned the Rubiks Cube algorithms. It was very easy since I kind of already knew how. I practiced a bit and averaged like somewhere around 1:50 minutes. My initial action after that was of course to challenge my older brother. 8 years ago, I learned how to solve a Rubiks cube. He learned it too after a while. Then he challenged me and I've only ever lost agaisnt him since. Now, he doesn't even know how to solve one. All just muscle memory. He still beat me.

October 22, 2022

The gloom I used to constantly feel has faded down. I went to the high-streets with my friends and it was fun. There were some underlying problems that remained unspoken. I fetched my friends, ate at a Chinese restaurant, then spilled the xia long bao. Bought some matching stuff with Sine from Muji too. Wandered around then went to Tim Hortons before going home. Except I wasn’t exactly going home because I’m a busy person. I had a seminar (for the school paper) and I was running late. I cried when I realized I couldn’t make it. Unfortunate. And to think that I consider myself great at scheduling. So stupid. When I arrived back home, I studied some more. Who needs rest? How am I still functioning?

October 21, 2022

I have this like kind-of-protocol to get Starbucks whenever I'm invited into a friend's house. I think it's a good way to appreciate a friend's effort into hosting. I hate being the host. It's like you're given responsibilities, making it less fun for you. Not that it matters expecially if I'm doing it for the people I literally love most. Hosting for closest friends > hosting in general.
Taylor Day! Today's the official release of Taylor Swift's new album, Midnights! I went over to Sirko's house to listen to the new album with her. I brought Posca Paint Markers and a T-Shirt, Sirko got Sharpies, and we made our own Junior Jewels T-Shirts. We looped You Belong With Me while making it too. We healed our inner childhoods engaging in that activity. The time came, Midnights was released. I don't even have any words for it. We recorded our reactions so that's cool. But I just can't put it into words. You know that one Jane Austen quote from Emma, “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." That feeling of being overwhelmed with so much love that you can't express it anymore. We had lunch then her sister drove us out to get boba. I love her sister so much. She's so nice. Along with the theme, Sirko and I painted our nails all the ten album covers Taylor has. I went home sadly. This day is still definitely going into my core memory.

October 20, 2022

We got a new dog! Very fluffy Samoyed. We had this event at school and I was chosen as a leader for it (to like read stuff) it's pretty ironic. I bet every higher entity ever loves me. See I had this problem with this one other event overlapping with another and I was physically incapable of fixing it. It was somehow fixed. Omg. I think the reason why the world loves me is because the same day, I literally got all my friend's water bottles that weren't finished and watered the plants with it. My friends were happy for me until I received this other notice that tomorrow, I had this other seminar I needed to attend to. I'm just an extremely busy person. My friends were actually getting stressed out from my problems because my schedule was so not flexible when it usually was.

October 19, 2022

Possibly a rest day. I did fix and filled up some very important documents. I don't think I did anything academic related (I forgot) but I doubt that because I'm always doing something.

October 18, 2022

I had math as my last subject and Ria was waiting for me. I went to her with my hands shaking. Since everyone literally failed, we were given this second test in which whatever score we'd get there, is going to be used as an additional to our actual mideterms test. Great, that math test has finally found closure in my mind. Unfortunately, my school is so inconsistent with their schedule it's getting frustrating. They change it every hour. I have this grave problem with the new schedule. Should I option a. kill myself, or option b. hospitalize myself somehow. I slept because I was actually so exhausted. I woke up and saw Ria's sister messaging me so I talked with her while she talked about like the 5 boys that had a crush on her. I told her boys have cooties.

October 17, 2022

I love getting ready for school. Something about it is very therapeutic. I'd say my love for it is almost the same as my love for my daily 3-5 showers (Sirko if you're reading this... I know you're probably shaking your head because you know how much I love showers but getting ready is *chefs kiss*). Did well in my title proposal I think. I mean, we got props for it but I don't know. I failed every other subject miserably after that. Me and Ria built new matching lego bracelets! I'll never eat in the school cafeteria ever again. Mark this day because I'll stand by this statement eternally.
I should've been doing my reaction paper but I talked to Ria's sister all night :'D. Kids actually love me and I don't know why.

October 16, 2022

The sky's pure blue. I think that's awesome. I finally had some leisure time available. I picked up a book and started reading... again... after a month. I wasn't exactly free the entire day. I had this journal project thing for my Psychology class and all I really had to do was copy and paste stuff from this blog into that output.

October 15, 2022

I read this article on falling in love (I was researching for this Falling In and Out of Love Algorithm Sirko requested I make) and it turns out being in love boosts your immune system. This explains why I'm sick every week tbh (I'm obviosuly joking). Anyway, since I can't move on from that math test I just took, Sine went over to her tutor and asked the exact test questions. I was right. The tutor did the same exact thing I did. When I looked at my dms, it was actually flooded. I had like 7 more or less people asking me to check their thesis statements and outlines.

October 14, 2022

Every single question in the mock quizzes I made came out in the test. I finished all the tests so fast. I didn't even study for this one subject and still managed to get it done within 15 minutes (I know the time because I had my phone with me and for some reasons the proctor didn't care - look, I could've cheated but I didn't.) It was so easy. There's a guy in school who has this old school camera series in Instagram and he stopped me and Sine for a picture. Yay! I got included in like something I genuinely find cool. I mean to be fair, we're friends so... We went to Panda Express after school. Then headed straight to uptown because it was near anyway. Did some karaoke (Taylor Swift songs), bought some stuff. Also got the matching lego bracelets with Sine. Went to starbucks and when everyone left, I saw Skylar and we hung out for a bit in Shake-Shack.

October 13, 2022

Sine reserved this enclosed spot in the library for our group of friends to study in before the midterms start. It was refreshing.
It hurts because I know everything there is to know about Math. I made an error that might've possibly affected my entire paper.(Spoiler Alert: I wasn't wrong with my answers) So yeah, the fated day, midterms. I did well in all the other subjects, but my math potential results trumps over my whole mood. I'm a failure. How do I punish myself? I came home crying. I told my mom about it. I explained what happened. My friends were confused too. Sine is really smart at math which is why I call her Sine. She made the same mistake I did. The formatting of the equations in math wasn't the same thing that was taught and that we've practiced for weeks. It made sense for me to do what I did. I do know that the learning curve is really low. Mid exams, there was this one girl who announced she gave up and just left her paper blank. A chunk of people followed her. After taking the test, I actually had an instant realization, and what I don't get is, how could my classmates give up that easily? The math test was so easy. If only the format was the similar one our professor made, I could've gotten a perfect score. For further context, I'm pretty sure our math professor didn't make our test because it was similar to my friend in Stem's Math professor's tests. Isn't it unfair that we're taught differently but we actually had to learn what they were learning? Also, someone has been spreading around my reviewers and claiming it as their own so that's great. People grateful for him too. I privated it once again. That and there was this one dude who had beef with my friend so I only did what was right. I deprived him from the only thing he was counting on to pass the exams. It's not like I owe them anything. Back to when I got home and cried infront of my parents, I cried for 3 more hours and slept a bit then finally composed myself. I made some mock tests for the remaining exams we have for tomorrow. Gave them away. Memorized a lot of things. Fell asleep reading some materials.

October 12, 2022

It's my brother's 18 birthday. Midterms is tomorrow. I had this group study scheduled. Early in the morning I had to go to his house and at the same time, people were calling and messaging me. I'm just so popular during days like these. I was litreally already in a study group but was at the same time, in different calls. Not to mention all the maths questions I was getting one after the other. Aroudn 4PM, I had to attend my RSVP'ed dinner for my brother's birthday. I find it miserable knowing his teenage years are over. There was this whole extravagant live food cooking happening in front of me but my eyes were stuck on this clipboard I bought with like 50 math problems or something. All I did was study, study, study. I could've been free if I didn't help like 10 individual people understand out lessons. I have this reviewer that other people use too... and I privated it because my friends were telling me people were using me. I did and it didn't end well. Apparently I'm like a horrible person who's so selfish. They say this after I fricking taught them every single subject one on one through calls. When I could've been studying for my own. They say this after I've provided them with reviewers on not just midterms but also every tests. I publiced it again. They're so reliant on me that it's not great. This day was so stressful. I was everywhere and yet was still studying. People were mad at me and not a single person thanked me. All I ask for is some appreciation because I actually do love helping. Why are people so cruel?

October 11, 2022

My window has not been opened in days. I made this lego stop-motion. Cutest thing ever. I wasn't so stressed out this day. well, I was but... I didn't complain as much. I've been sleeping in between my studies. Mad at this particular group of friends (they're my acquaintances) because they were attacking my friend and indirectly me. Basically they're excluding me and Sine because we're "naturally smart". It's a compliment but I am not naturally smart. I acknowledge my talent because my brain can easily pick up information but I quite literally study every single day and they're completely just invalidating all my efforts. My routine has changed drastically these past few days. I used to be with Ria every single day just playing or coding (basically anything fun). Now, I'm studying with Sine and the others memorizing until my brain capacity could, then around midnight, Skylar would call me for tutoring. We were given the pointers for our midterms in Science and there's whole section for a lesson that was literally never taught. After like an hour or so of searching up stuff, I found the perfect PDF that explained the lesson well. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm pretty sure there was atleast like 7 topics that was never discussed. We were given this folder with youtube links and I can attest for the youtube videos being useless with barely any information in it.

October 10, 2022

Study. I memorized everything for this one test and it turned out to be an essay type test. F in the chat. I continued studying because somehow midterms is already like a few days from now. I tutored Skylar around midnight. It was a very productive and tiring day. I fixed my schedule. I will be strictly following it to maximize my knowledge per each subject and ensure that I atleast have enough to answer in the midterms per each subject.

October 09, 2022

Bright suns! I woke up to find out about the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences deciding to award the Nobel prize of Physics to Alan Aspect, John Clauser, and Anton Seilinger. It's pretty cool! I don't really understand it that much but basically they hypothesized particles in an entagnled pair possibly have hidden variales. So they're saying that quantum mechanics allows two or more particles to exist in an entangled state - meaning whatever happens to one particle (as long as they've at least once entered this state) will happen to the other particle even if they're apart. Another reason to never touch a person ever again just dropped. I've been studying with Sine for days while in call, also doing those mini vlogs at midnight when I'm cooking (putting stuff in the toaster oven or air fryer). I've been googling symptoms again and I think I'm going to die soon.

October 08, 2022

Last few hours of freedom until I completely wallow msyelf into the world of studying. I need help in math. Had another orthodonstist appoinment then went uptown to buy some miscellaneous stuff I needed. Whenevever I'm out and those sales people approach me, I literally run the other direction. Ask Sirko, I'm not exaggerating when I say I run the other way. I don't even try to hide my fear. They're so intimidating that whenever I'm out, Sirko just receives like a hundred notifications coming from me saying that I'm crying because my social anxiety is so bad. I might not seem like it but it's actually so hard and a lot of people don't even understand. I came home and had a zoom conference with Sirko. I continued studying like what this day was originally intended for.
Okay, I know I said I needed help in math like literally in the previous paragraph but... Best day ever! I finally get math! Like it's so easy. Special thanks to Sine who helped so much. Now I can't stop bugging her telling her we should play another round of Maths.
I still love Mazzy Star. Looped Flowers in December the whole day.

October 07, 2022

I actually need a tutor or something. Nah I don't. Nothing will ever replace The Organic Chemistry Tutor. The dude is so awesome and he makes literally everything fun to do. I caught up with some stuff in school while kind of just skipping the current classes I had. It's better to use the time catching up and understanding everything rather than not retaining anything and just wasting time you know? Since it's friday, we have clubs. My friend Julius asked me to help him with his debate docs. Super fun. Then for my club, the school paper, I just had to write about this article and holy frick I love speed writing. The adrenaline and knowing I finished on time was so satisfactory. I even got to ask and do the quickest call interviews with some people. After class, we promptly just decided to go out because we deserved it. I met up with them and we went everywhere. We ate in Pepper Lunch and I burned my tongue from eating so much. It wasn't much but for someone who doesn't eat everyday, I was so nauseous. Super, super fun, again. I get to tick off a box from my (non-existent) bucket list! I saved my friend who wasn't paying attention in the crossing from literally getting ran over.

October 06, 2022

I really liked this day. I wasn't doing anything so I didn't have to stay up too late. I did some auditing for our class. I love receipts and organizing so it wasn't even a burden. Had a sleep call with Sine (lasted for 24 hours duration time got resetted). I finally decided what I'd do for my future. Everything is jsut going perfectly in the right direction. I downloaded twitter and no, I'm not transferring there. I'm all for the Web Manifestos, I still prefer Web1 over Web2 (specially prefer both over Web3). Awesome day and I didn't feel like throwing up which I've been feeling for the past month every single day now.

October 05, 2022

My baby brother is in the hospital again. Pretty horrible, I know. I was studying all day again. I did spend my whole day in a call with someone (by someone i mean like 4 different people and one was a group of people). Then I cried because I corrected someone and I feel like they hate me now. Omg wait, I did rediscover the best song ever. This song was Rhett's recommendation (2 years ago). I'm only appreciating it now because I decided to search up a deep analysis of it and I love it. I'm obsessed with the song now. The song is Fade Into You by Mazzy Star. Here's the link for the analysis I read. Please check it out because It's great.

October 04, 2022

Snoozed my alarm so many times I only had like 30 minutes left to get ready. My house is really near school though so it doesn't matter. Wore a Trafalgar Law Hoodie because One Piece Film: Red. (Spoiler Alert: Tickets weren't available) I liked [redacted] for a day just to prove something. Was it fun? yes. Do I see myself doing it again in the future? Possibly. I'm too busy though so probably not in like a few months again. Also it didn't end well because I'm pretty sure (not really) that he likes another girl.
Okay, now for the part of the day that I absolutely love. Ria and I went out for a study date! Except... there wasn't any studying. The moment we entered the mall, a dog approached me. I fricking love dogs. Then Ria somehow spotted every single cat ever. And a cat that looked like me which was actually the only one that mattered. Then we ate at Popeyes. Wasn't very fun for Ria I'd say. I mean it's bad enough that she has to force me to eat but also, every 5 seconds, she had to endure me sharing with her "what if" questions about the sanitary of fast-food work areas. Moving on, I know Ria just ordered matching lego bracelets for us yesterday... but we went into the Lego store and saw different colored ones; I had to get it. I also bought myself a Darth Maul figurine. That's actually epic. Eventually, Ria left me and I just went to the bookstore to pass time. I finally found the Metamorphoses book by Ovid I've been looking for since like July or something. You'd think I would've passed out after such a long day. No, I started studying literally after I showered.

October 03, 2022

Imagine if I was an actual buckethead. Like a Stormtrooper. Doesn't matter if I don't have aim. It'd be a much better world if I were one. I feel like I one day, a week or two ago, just altogther stopped sleeping and eating. Then I'd complain about being nauseous for the entire day. My friends are literally used to it and are just accepting it at this point. Like verbally saying "yep, there she goes again". Me and Ria decided to buy matching lego bracelets. We're the coolest people ever.

October 02, 2022

I can't find the perfect song to loop and now everything is in dissonance. See, without something to loop, my mind will wander elsewhere and that's not what we want. Ria isn't around too (she's hasn't been on a call with me for a day but we still text everyday) and I can't function without her. I'm pretty much everywhere today and am actually lost. Like no sense of direction I might as well walk on a tightrope blind folded. I want to read a book so so bad. If I wasn't so busy I could've already been on the 90th book for the year or something.

October 01, 2022

Hi. I didn't have the best day yesterday. Totally alright. I barely had a today. I woke up around like 3 PM and slept early. I was so tired from the previous week that my entire body just went into hibernation mode or something. I got a manipedi (and wanted to dye my hair back to purple but couldn't because school health inspection), then slept for the night. Didn't indulge in any entertainments. It more of a self-care day... I just did nothing the whole day. Normally I'd go crazy knowing I haven't done anything for the day. This day was different. I was very tired. I liked this day.