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June 30, 2023

I'm sick. This is my last day on Earth. I'm going back to planet Tatooine to regain my strength. I woke up around 1 PM, and not even 3 hours in, I think I've already taken at least 3 showers. I feel so horrible, and usually, my showers would fix it, but I am still dying.
I love Sabrina Carpenter. I made more playlists for her songs. I haven't been the greatest at picking one struggle. My life isn't at its peak right now, but it's bearable and isn't too bad, so I'll take it.
I went out (still sick) for this dinner reservation we had, and while we were waiting, I played this two-player games app thing with my brother Luke. It brought so much nostalgia from when he would cheat, and I cried about it. He still cheats at his old age now, by the way. When we got to our table and ate, my family had this talk that made me realize that there are a lot of things you can get away with. Like my path doesn't have to be so straight, and even the worst things ever could still be fixable. I've been having a hard time grasping my reality because of reasons, and as much as I say I accept everything that happens and I can't dwell on anything, there's a part of me that's still disappointed.
I fixed my calendar. I have so many plans stacked up, and Rhett and Skylar are real ones for setting their dates so quickly.
Still hoping I could get the tickets.
I miss Sirko again. I cried. Some people may never get the relationship I have with the friends I made when I was 14, but they're the ones that truly stuck with me. It wasn't just because they were around; I had a lot of baggage, and don't get me wrong, I still do. But they helped me carry it for a lot of times while still being fun to be around. I miss Sirko because we could've had such an awesome summer, but now I can't. I have other friends, but it's different when they have different interests. It just makes me feel a bit alone, even when I still have the best people around me. I cried, and it's Friday. She cried, and it's Saturday for Sirko. That's on schedule.
I watched this video on a guy who filmed his summer with a camcorder. I'll do the same thing. I'm using an Olympus Pen Lite E-PL7. I decorated it, cleaned the SD card, and made a new Instagram account for it.
I also watched the first few episodes of Ranking of Kings. I'm already crying. I love it. I love Bojji. What a great anime.

June 29, 2023

I had a dream.
Ryan Trahan's Penny Challenge videos are returning meaning my life is gonna get better again. I told Sirko immediately. I told her to tell her little brother who is a fan too. My parent's aren't home often so me and my brother have been getting Panda Express orange chickens for pretty much every meal of the day. I'm trying to get Taylor Swift Eras Tour (Japan) tickets again. I FaceTimed Ria since she might come too. Then I started watching this anime Skylar recommended.
Today's movie with Brie and Tony is Step Up 3. I'm finally seeing Moose again. He's actually my soulmate. When the movie ended, I made a bunch of edits... By edits, I mean putting my face on everything he touched. I had to do it. He's literally my guy.

June 28, 2023

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B,A, start. I woke up an immediately had this alien abduction vision. I will be the girl who cried wolf and no one would ever believe me. I thought more about it in the shower and it's a real problem. No like, there's seriously no way anyone would ever believe me. What if I do get to talk to them then they introduce themselves and it's a word that is impossible for humans to say. Then I'd sound dumb trying. This reminds me of Tweel. I love that alien. I love Isaac Asimov. I spent a good while doing math for A Martian Odyssey just to solve this little riddle that wasn't even a riddle and it's whole premise is just proving that 1+1=2 and how this fact could be used to communicate in a way an intelligent creature would understand.
Whole morning I was curating playlists. It's an entire hobby at this point. I played the guitar and just did that. Oh, I played Cyberpunk too. There's this really cool guy who does super epic game movement videos on it and I tried doing those. I failed.
I did the two-player parkour Minecraft game thing with Wacky again and we had a sleep call. So epic.

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June 27, 2023

Here's my current thought process: Smosh. Ryan Higa. Sean and Ryan's friendship necklace. Are they still friends? So I went to his Twitch which I know he's very active at and clicked the latest one. He still has the necklace on. I hope I never lose the matching ring I have with Sirko. It's like this little sign of friendship that would always keep us together even when we don't talk as much anymore. Which, I doubt we'd ever stop talking. But you know, Sean and Ryan gives me hope and I think that's cute. Anyway, when I saw Ryan's stream, he was playing Only Up. Most logical thing to do is play the game too. I did. It was frustrating. Auto uninstall and refund after I fell off. There is no way I'm doing all that again.
I have this history with midnight cereals. I'd have them so much that I'd go through the milk cartons and cereal boxes so quickly. They just taste that much better at night.
I added a dark mode for my archives page because apparently it's not colorblind-friendly. It took me like 5 seconds tops to add it but I swear it's the most useful thing in this website ever.

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June 26, 2023

I am writing more documents. I am very tired. I spent the entire day with sheet musics, learning more songs on the piano and guitar. Around midnight, our somehow very usual nocturnal schedule, I played Minecraft with Brie, Tony, and Wacky. Then we played a two-player parkour game, and Wacky totally carried (sorry). Sirko had a problem and called me midgame, temporarily stealing me away from Wacky. She talked while I played the guitar because she knows my brain works better when I'm doing multiple things at once.
My favorite song is Right Where You Left Me, right? I'm not sure if I've ever written about this here, but basically, the whole backstory of that is when I was watching Gilmore Girls, there was this character named Dave Rygalski. He was so perfect. But then the real-life actor was offered another show (which was successful, so good for him), and he had to leave, so we never got to see him again, and then I became the epitome of "Right Where You Left Me." I'd forever believe he never left and that he and Lane actually got a happy ending. The point of me telling this is because I saw an edit of them again, and I was telling Sirko that I think I found my Dave Rygalski, and if I lose this, I'll end up like Lane and be miserable. She wasn't super miserable exactly but how can she have had the most perfect man then settle for the biggest loser ever who did nothing but ruin all her opportunities. I personally rather die thinking of what could've been than continue living a life with Zack.

June 25, 2023

The sketchbook I mentioned yesterday will never see the light of day ever again. I'm over it. I can still draw, so that's good to know. I slept a lot. It's raining so hard outside, so I can't really go anywhere. I played with my baby brother, and fun fact, whenever he sees my guitar, he runs to the piano and smashes the keyboard. Anyway, I taught him the special forces positions or something like that. I think of it as a very sacred tradition that's passed down through generations, which in my case was taught by my cousins. How do people with no siblings learn how to properly play guns? I started watching Highschool Musical: The Musical: The Series too. I finally sculpted the whale thing I've been working on. Or, well, not really working on. It was very messy.
Tony came from a concert, and he asked me to VC, so I gave him a concert. Isn't that so awesome? Then I acted for him because I'm obviously a one-man show. I did a bunch of lines I still have embedded in my head because of my Oral Comms class. Then I memorized Dave Rygalski's speech live just to flex my super genius and awesome memory. Then, once we settled down... By that, I meant once it reached the 5 AM mark, we started doing our Lego rooms again.

June 24, 2023

Please make it stop. I don't feel well and I don't know how to feel. I haven't stopped crying since last night. I hate my tear duct's somehow unlimited supply of tears. When I did manage to hold it back, I'd find my throat aching in turn. The good thing about this is the fact that I am literally Paris Geller. I finished writing my appeal in the morning because I'm still smart despite whatever I even saw yesterday. I helped my baby brother with his homework. It was very tiring. I had my dermatologist appointment. Then I cut my nails so I could play my guitar properly again. I'm trying to compose a piano piece too. I brought my sketchbook out from the grave and drew stuff like a little boy who had touched comic books for the first time. It's been a while.
I hope I get the presale code from Ticketmaster. Sigh.

June 23, 2023

I woke up late. See, my phone was taken away last night, and all my physical alarm clocks are pretty much busted. They do make awesome displays, though. But I woke up in a state of panic. Why? I personally would never stand my friend up. After showering, I grabbed my phone which, by some stroke of weird luck, still had a decent battery percentage. I went straight to school, where I had originally planned to meet my friend. Brie was already there because she had her varsity training thing. I needed to get my yearbook and report card. We had coordinated matching outfits because we thought it would be cool. After I finished my small side quests, we proceeded to the mall. I'll talk about my report card later so the summary of my day would flow better. Honestly, when I first saw it, I just ignored it and forced myself to act like it didn't exist for the whole day.
Continuing with my day, me and Brie finally arrived at the mall. I kept making "I'm Moose" jokes, and we were having a great time. I did a bit of retail therapy, which we don't talk about. We met up with Bokuto and had some milk tea. I was their adopted child. We visited a few shops and strolled around. Since our primary reason for the hangout was to watch Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, we checked the showtimes and chose the nearest one. Brie bought us popcorn while Bokuto went to get food from the food court. Brie and I entered the cinema. Bokuto followed. It was epic. I might post a review of it somewhere online because I always have a lot to say. Anyway, surprisingly no one has had their first meal of the day yet. We opted for Bonchon. I was playing main character, and quoting the movie. I dragged that out with more main character dialogues. Why? Movie effect. Nah, I'm kidding. I've been doing that the entire week. We exchanged stories then did karaoke. After doing a few other activities, I decided to head home early.
I got home and ran straight to my room. I couldn't call Sirko because I knew she was asleep due to our time zone difference, so I decided to call Skylar instead. At this point, I feel like I owe my whole life to him. I sobbed when I showed him my report card,but he ended up bursting in laughter when he did see it. Just to provide some context, I had the highest grade in my strand, possibly, but it wouldn't be recognized because I was going to be disqualified. The same teacher I've complained about multiple times in this blog, gave me a final grade that would prevent me from being part of the honors, even though I had maintained the highest possible grade in every subject. Her score alone brought everything down (though I'm still the highest, even with her nerf, by the way). What's sad is the fact that that all my teachers and classmates would probably be so confused as to why I wouldn't graduate as a valedictorian when I had earned every top score ever, so that made me cry even more. Skylar tried to reassure me, saying it's okay if I don't get recognized. That sometimes, being lowkey is good too. I get that and I'm fine with it, but the fact that I had been putting in an average of 10-hour study sessions daily just to be at the top made it all feel like a waste. I'm not crying because I can't accept this result (At least not until I check it up with her first) but it's so disheartening and demotivating. This is gonna spiral me and I don't like it. I could swear I looked awful in the FaceTime, sniffling and sobbing and it's a huge pitiful sight. He tried to convince me that it must have been an error. To distract myself, I gave him a tour of the yearbook since I had received mine early. The yearbook was kinda bad. In my defense, they barely used the yearbook we designed before because I was part of the yearbook committee back then. Anyway, Skylar managed to make me feel better, and I told him I had to end the call. I had only eaten one meal the entire day, and my tears were literally burning my skin. Well, at least I got a Millennium Falcon from Pandora.
I talked to my parents about it, and they suggested I write an appeal. I followed their advice and wrote the appeal. They told me they'd help and have another professional proofread it. It still hurts a lot. I don't want to say I don't deserve this of all people, but seeing how all my friends were also questioning how this might've happened makes me believe this is just a huge mistake. But then again, I know that particular teacher has this weird hatred for girls since she came from an all boys school. It's a weird complex.

There are people who we might call emotional contagion agents. A Negative Nancy if you will. They bring everyone around them down when they're in a bad mood. I've done a bit of my research on them back then because I used to hate it whenever I become victim to this negative emotional ripple effect. These people usually ends up draining the energy of everyone in their vicinity. While I understand where they might be coming from, and I know that sometimes a little selfishness is necessary to go about this world, that's simply not who I am. Instead of carrying that burden throughout the day, and sharing that baggage with other people, I'lla always choose to let it go. Was I on the verge of tears in the beginning? Possibly. But I made my problem cease to exist temporarily just so I wouldn't affect those around me. There are many things beyond my control. okr cnms qdzc sghr ozqs. g dcjr zyb clmsef rfyr g uyq rfgpb-ufccjgle. g rpgcb kw zcqr rm ecr rfc rum md rfck rm ryji, ctcl rfmsef g amsjb ajcypjw qcc rfyr g uyq rfc npmzjck, ctcl gd lcgrfcp md rfck ybkgrrcb gr. ufw uyq ctcl rfcpc gl rfc dgpqr njyac? gr uyq zcaysqc md rfc aw aypb, y aypb kw dpgclbq sqc zcaysqc md kw emmb qampcq ugrf ctcpw nypclr. zsr g bgbl'r kglb rfyr, zcgle rfc pcyqml; g uylrcb rm qnclb rgkc ugrf kw dpgclb ylb uyraf rfc kmtgc rmm. lmrgacyzjw, fyjduyw rfpmsef, rfcw zmrf qryprcb rm qgli glrm rfgq fmppgzjc kmmb. g ynnpmyafcb cyaf md rfck qcnypyrcjw, spegle rfck rm hsqr ryji rm cyaf mrfcp. g uyq zypcjw fmjbgle kwqcjd rmecrfcp, wcr g amlrglscb rm bm kw zcqr rm jgefrcl rfc kmmb. g bml'r ilmu ufw g zjykcb kwqcjd rfc clrgpc lgefr, zsr g amltglacb kwqcjd rfyr g uyq rfcpc yq yl cvasqc, ylb gd g fybl'r zccl rfcpc, lmlc md gr umsjb fytc fynnclcb. ufyrctcp rfc pcyqml, gr uyql'r kw sqsyj zcfytgmp rm zjykc kwqcjd qm fypqfjw, zsr g dcjr rcppgzjc, cqncagyjjw qglac g uyq yjpcybw zjykgle kwqcjd dmp ylmrfcp npmzjck.

June 22, 2023

My phone is flooded with a bunch of people asking me for updates. I don't know what to tell them because I really don't know any better either. I woke up late again and after my shower, I grabbed a bunch of my books so I can transfer them to my library and headed straight to the car. I had Dunkins for breakfast which doesn't really make any sense because it's way past lunchtime and donuts aren't really much of what you'd consider as a breakfast meal unless you're living inside of a cartoon show. I had the aux because when my brother isn't around I usually get to have it. I played Taylor the whole way and my parents asked me if I wanted to see Taylor again. I already have tickets for this summer and another summer with her is literally such a dream. Why would they even ask that question? I'd say yes to that in a heartbeat 'til the day I die which means that I'd gain my heartbeat back and resurrect if it meant I could see her again. Hopefully, I can secure myself tickets. When I got to our farm, I played with the dogs and just stayed indoors. I love it there. I organized my bookshelves and made did not read as I had originally intended. Instead, I made my response to Wacky. I slept. I love sleeping there. I had like this massive headache which is no doubt from my lack of sleep. When I returned home, I played the PS5 with my brothers, and towards the end, I did a gameplay of Hogwarts Legacy for them. Oh, and my brother's girlfriend was on FaceTime with him, so it was a pretty chill hangout.
I stayed up until 5 AM again with Brie and Tony. The movie for the night is Step Up 2. Now you're probably wondering, "Why did you skip the first one?". The answer to that is very simple: Moose. Sadly Brie had to go so we had to stop watching the last scene. I - a genius - proposed that we (me and Tony) make our rooms in Legos using the Bricklink Studio 2.0 instead. I mean, we can't end the movie if Brie isn't there, you know? Back to the Studio 2.0, I spent hours on my piano and Tony spent hours on his bookshelves. This Lego room making will soon be continued in another day. I felt like throwing up and had to sleep.

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June 21, 2023

I woke up half past one in the afternoon which was pretty late. Got the news that Smosh is back! That's so awesome. I used to binge watch literally every post they've ever released ever. I'm glad that some things never die out.
I found something I shouldn't have had and consulted Sirko and Skylar about it. There's a lot of things that confuse me. But that's fine since the hardest thing I always need to figure out is myself anyway so nothing that can be worse than that. Brie's so nice. I like how she knows me so much. She appreciates my mind a lot and I love her for that.
Our chick-flick of the night is She's the Man. Here's my thoughts: I wished they made movies like this again. It's actually so good. No wonder it's rated so high. I slept at 5 around 5 AM again. I feel bad for Tony.
Oh I cried today but I don't know when (my blog entry draft confuses me). I can only guess it's probably while talking to either Sirko or Skylar.

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June 20, 2023

I ran a few errands at the mall and then ate at Pancake House. I bought myself more clay and other sculpting supplies because my baby brother has once again been relentless with yet another request. He wants a Megaptera novaeangliae, which is a species of baleen whale. Since I'm obviously a god and can make anything, I told him okay. When I got home, I made the skeleton frame of the whale. However, I had to put that project on pause again because I had to go out for something else. I got in the car and played my Eminem playlist. I love that dude. I used to be such a stan, and I'm grateful that I memorized a bunch of his lyrics when I was young. I got home again and decided I'd teach my baby brother how to play soccer. I wanted to go to the soccer field and although it wouldn't take that long of a trip, I told my baby brother that we should just visit the dog park instead since it was nearer. We went there and it was closed. So that was disappointing. Since we were already walking around, we decided to take a stroll around the neighborhood. My brother was talking to me the entire time and he had this one inquiry he would just repeat over and over again. The question was that how come ice turns into liquid when you put it in water. I told him it's because the ice absorbs heat from the water which means from the dense molecules, with less kinetic energy, the heat bring kinetic energy breaking the intermolecular bonds holding it in its solid state. The question was actually pretty smart. Good for him for being curious. I had to explain that to him multiple times until we got home. I took my hundredth shower of the day and made myself chocolate shake. I watched Bring it On with Brie and Tony and Cliff is so cool. I liked the movie. I fell asleep at around 5 AM.

June 19, 2023

I'm sick. Not that sick but still sick. I think I vomitted twice this day. Very concerning. With that, I did not function much and just rested for a while. I updated my blog and slept some more. I am very susceptible to sickness but that's on me because I like over-exhausting myself until my body physically cannot handle it. In my defense, I'm just testing my limits, you know? Despite getting sick easily, the interesting thing is that my body has an incredible immune system that allows me to recover quickly. Give me a single sleep and a shower and I'm pretty much healed. I learned that fact from when I was in kindergarten and I'm still alive. I played the piano for a bit before going into my nightly VCs with Tony, Brie, and Bokuto. I read the the whole God of War 2 script but only the parts with Kratos in it and they told me I did not sound like him. I totally did. Their other friend told me so. Can't convince me otherwise. They bullied a sick girl with the worst cramps ever. So mean.

June 18, 2023

Happy Father's Day! We went out for an early dinner and kind of just wandered around the mall and the location we were at (I have no idea why I can't just reveal the place I visit because it's getting harder to come up with fake names for them). They did some shopping while I stood there like a bystander. I had forgotten what was on my mind, but I was definitely, once again, brain dead. When we got home, we took a family picture as we usually do for special occasions. Since I'm the only person in the family that my baby brother listens to, I always have to be the one to convince him. I offered him a pass to play with me outside. It was pretty dark, but the street lights were on, so we did some Nerf battles. It felt so nostalgic. When my older brother Luke and I were kids, we used to play outside until the street lights turned on. It was like a ticking time bomb that forced us to go back home, leaving us deprived of fun. We were known as the neighborhood kid you'd encounter everywhere. From toddler age and up, I always had some kind of vehicle, which was most likely by like 90% was a bicycle. I did try those scooters, skates, skatebaords, those weirdly shaped two three wheeled thing ones, and others I don't even remember anymore. I would ride past the most iconic houses that my brother and I had given special labels to. Back to the present time, this one person I do not wish to associate with anymore started crying to her mom about something, and I had to be the one to talk and explain the situation. It wasn't that hard, considering I am a very respectful person. What a sorry excuse for a person.
I read my books and wrote some stuff down. "The Dark Reunion" was horrible to me today.

June 17, 2023

I had my orthodonsist and dermatologist appointment again. Sometimes I could swear that I live life on auto-pilot. Like I wake up, get dragged somewhere half asleep, go back home, shower for the second or third time, then actually start my day. I slept a lot today too. Like a bunch of naps scattered throughout the day. I'm still making up for for years worth of accumulated lost sleep. My sleep debt is probably greater than the amount of possible chess combinations. Which is more than there are atoms in the observable universe. Okay, that's an exaggeration but you know what I mean. I also watched Horimiya. It was great. Then I invited a friend to watch a movie with me. I took down my insanity (study) wall too because I was procrastinating on something.
Before the mall closed down, we got biscoff because turns out, my entire family is now obsessed with it. I got home and sculpted my baby brother his whale shark that he has been relentlessly requesting. And I mean relentless in the most annoying way possible. I love him so it's okay, I guess. When it got baked, I made my baby brother help me in the painting process. It was cute.
Wacky was drunk texting me and I was flushed the whole time. I wish he meant atleast of of what he said. He called me randomly and told me he loved me which has never been said to me in a genuine way. I really really like this dude and I hope he doesn't get sick of me.

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June 16, 2023

Gracie finally released Good Riddance (Deluxe). I woke up just in time for it. I got my Xm4s on and injected the whole album (expecialy the 3 previously unreleased ones) into my system. I love her so much. It's almost as if she has access to my brain and can word out all the things that makes me vulnerable. I am the physical embodiment of all of Gracie Abram's songs.
Me and my brother went out to but summer clothes. It's like a thing. We ate out too and that was fun. I'll never admit it but I'll always appreciate all the time I spend with my brother. I've idolized him throughout my whole former years. Not now but I still look up to him in a different way. He's going to college in a month or so and I think it's making me think about our whole situation more. We used to do nothing but figth but we're really almost all we have.
I got home in the evening and played Two People by Gracie Abrams on the piano. It had just released so I had to test my ear and hands coordination or something. I practiced Last Kiss again too. I ended the day still listening to Gracie like how I started it.

June 15, 2023

I woke up and saw a message from Brie asking if we wanted to go to this other anime convention with her. Who am I to refuse this offer, right? I got my tickets and sorted it out quickly. I don't think I'll be cosplaying for that event since it was spontaneous anyway. The rest of the day I finally got into sculpting. If you've read my blog entry from a couple of weeks ago, I remember mentioning that I bought myself some clay because I needed change. I'm using it now and I'm so grateful for past Cy. I never really used our oven and I couldn't find any instructions on the Smeg website so I had to experiment a bit. Was it scary that I was risking literally burning up my house? Not at all. I somehow had way too much trust in myself. I figured out quickly how to navigate it and started sculpting little charms. I made a star and a fish bone. I baked it and it took me surprisingly longer than usual. I saw somewhere that as long as I have the rigth temperature, I can bake it for much longer and it wouldn't crack the clay. I trusted in that and I now swear by that rule. I ate pizza while waiting and time went by so fast. I was in the kitchen until midnight I believe. My brother came downstairs and we had a late-night kitchen hangout. So iconic. I had instant ramen while playing Last Kiss on the piano and making a cover. Anyway, my brother approached me with a balloon, asking if I knew the sport balloon tapping. It sounded like an absolute lie so I searched it up because technology exists and every knowledge ever can now be in the palm of our hands through our mobile phones, and it was in fact real. Before I knew it, we were playing this balloon tapping game. It went on for quite a while. Then, we decided to have an official match with a best-of-seven format. We were so loud—well, I was laughing so loudly in the most I don't even know way possible that we started hearing our dad's footsteps coming downstairs, and like little children, my brother and I quickly switched to our "act normal" mode. But I have problems containing my laughter. This has been a problem of mine for the longest time. So my resolution was to stuff my mouth full with ramen. This helped with me not making a sound although I did raise my likelihood of choking and possibly dying. I was still visibly shaking despite this. You see, I don't have the ability to control my laughter. I ended the night with going back to the piano and continuing where I last left off. I went back to playing Last Kiss until my voice strained, and so i could finally do Taylor's shaky breath and I can go cry about it.

June 14, 2023

We had our final grades consultation for the exams, and the results were good. However, it did prove that I am the biggest choker alive—I made a single mistake on all of my written exams. That's insane. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very proud of myself. A bit disappointed, but that feeling comes with any result I get that isn't a perfect grade. I still have the highest grade in my class so that brings me relief.
Teth, who has been on the other side of the world for years, came to visit and surprise his friends. He was my classmate in 6th grade, and he's a really cool dude. I was invited, and since they're really near, I showed up. Tony, Alex, Wacky, and Yuan were there too, and we went to Timezone. At this point, I am in ATC at least thrice a week. We also got biscoff. Teth is now biscoff worthy. We hung out for a bit until I had to leave. Before going home, I grabbed Panda Express because I'm addicted to orange chicken.
Late at night, I FaceTimed Sirko. We were texting before that and I was crying, and she said, "Don't cry." I have no idea how she knew since I didn't even imply it. Anyway, we continued talking and joking around (I swear, it's not in a mean way). We were being weird again, but it's best not to talk about it.
Wacky is so great.

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June 13, 2023

I would've finished watching Yowamushi Pedal yesterday if I hadn't went out but as predicted, I finished in all one go. I am the type of person who starts a show and prioritizes it so much until I finish it and that has been a well known fact for quite a while now. I get so invested in their lives that I just can't help but continue watching. The overall season was a long one. I don't mean it in a duration of the anime long, but in a tediously long to watch way. Like, every 1km or something was a whole episode. I get it, that's the point of the show. But it's unreal that I watched like half a day worth of anime for 25 episodes long. And I'm not complaining. I'm a One Piece fan and it's way worse there. I still love it anyway. Back to Yowamushi Pedal, I prayed Manami would win. I get the Onodo had lost his senior, but so did Manami. He practiced so hard after suffering that loss in the match. He's such a well developed character I wouldn't have minded if he had won instead of the main character.
Skylar gave me a talk and he was so real for that. He helped me on something that has been bugging me for quite a while. Dude at least lightened this weight that was actually making me more concerned each passing second.
I had another late-night call with Wacky. But it ended so I just listened to his Youtube video of him reading the Lorax script.

June 12, 2023

We visited our farm again. There's a lot of new additional stuff. The roundabout now had a phoenix sculpture which is absolutely awesome. My main agenda was to organize my library and read there. I love this place so much. I have my oil painting stuff there too and it's just pure peace. I played with my baby brother and he captured a poor duck and made it his pet. All our dogs are there and I miss them so much. Our land extends to like quite a distance and I don't think I've fully explored everything yet, but I want to live there. My mom has been planning on buying me an archery set too. The first thing I did when I got there was actually put my phone on the aux. I grabbed a book from my shelves and just read for a while in the lanai area. It's like I was frozen in time. Which is literally my best state of mind. We had to go back home, which was sad, and I just scrolled through my Pinterest the whole way home.
I was texting with Brie and Sirko and it was funny because Brie was catching a flight and up until her very last seconds, she was a hater (in a good way, okay). My conversation with Sirko involved me sending her an edit and it was so funny that I got my karma immediately. Twice too.

June 11, 2023

Today is Seven's birthday. Isn't that awesome? I love him. A solid chunk of my day was spent analyzing song lyrics. I hyperfixated a bit too much and let time slip past me again. I watched more of Yowamushi Pedal; I'm trying to finish it. My prediction is that I'd be done with this anime tomorrow or whenever I decide to binge it again. I went out with my family for dinner, and I also got myself some Biscoff (for my senses to function this week). I had music blasting in my ears the whole time and now that I'm thinking about it, I really don't think I've ever gotten out without airpods or any form of earphones or headphones on. Sometimes I wish I could just install a speaker system inside my brain.
Today, I discovered that it actually is possible to type on your phone even if you have a band-aid on your thumb. That's so neat.
I had another sleep call with Wacky and he read me bedtime stories. It was very unsuccessful. To be fair, I am easily distracted by a lot of things too. I need to start reading books again.

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June 10, 2023

My eyes were glued to the screen the whole day as I watched Yowamushi Pedal, which pretty much consumed my entire day. I also had my dermatologist appointment somewhere in between. Additionally, I had a Nerf battle with my baby brother, and it was the cutest thing. I taught him the things my older brother and other cousins used to do whenever we'd get guns. Sigh, it's frustrating that family problems came in the way of the relationship between the only cousins that my brother and I actually like. Anyway, I didn't stop watching my anime until 3 AM. I don''t remember much from this anymore.

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June 09, 2023

I wacthed Love, Rosie with Brie and it was honestly terrible. I would so throw rotten tomatoes at it. Where was the romance and comedy? Me and Brie had to watch it in x2 speed. I downloaded iOS 17 on beta and it's so awesome. I also started watching the new season of Yowamushi Pedal. I miss my anime schedule. I don't know half of the characters anymore, but it's 25 episodes long so I'm just gonna count on the flashbacks that every anime ever overuses. Can' blame them, though. Animators don't get paid enough for this.
I asked Wacky to by my podcast as I tried to sleep because I got too lazy tapping through his VMs. I love listening to his voice and his stories. It's like killing two birds with one stone. Eventually, he ended up being the one to fall asleep. Still on the sleep call with Wacky, I called Tony and we just chatted for a bit. I really need to start sleeping early again.

June 08, 2023

The first thing I did in the morning was help my baby brother do his homework (Well, I showered and did my morning routine first of course). It was very exhausting. I had to constantly try my best to get his attention so he'd learn properly. I made our study sessions interactive, which inevitably prolonged their duration by approximately threefold. However, I don't mind. I fell asleep immediately after that.
Waiting Room is back on Spotify. I looped it the whole day.
I updated my blog while eating pizza and did some few modifications on stuff.
I hung out with my brothers and we played the PS5. We played Override which is a brawler game but with robots. It was cool. I quickly got used to the combos and I really enjoyed it. We did the Rivals of Aether too except we were only using mods. I know there's this little thing around it where forums talk about how the game is only alive because of the community. Personally, if I were the creator, I wouldn't mind at all. As long as people play my game. The game is practically a clone of Super Smash Flash Bros. I miss that game. Me and my older brother used to play that game every single day. We did a couple of Lego games that made us feel dumb too. We did Lego Star Wars then Lego Batman. There was this part wherein I played Flash and my brother had Reverse Flash. We were having this race and I was crying my eyes out from laughing because we both couldn't even finish the map because we kept on messing up from being too competetive. Our baby brother was just watching us laughing too.

June 07, 2023

Sirko's flight. I'll see her again, it's okay. It's quite the distance but I can always think of it as nothing but a transitory interlude for much more greater things we'd share in the future. It's not like I plan on ever stopping my connection with her. It'll work. Trust. I invited Tony to play CS with me but I ended up just takling with him for the entire day. We are actually the same person. Same brain cells. We played Roblox too. This day was honestly an ephemeral blip. I don't remember anything and my draft entries are blank. It had a few key and scattered one word thoughts but even that still failed to turn the gears in my hippocampus.
I was on a call with Wacky for the rest of the night.

June 06, 2023

The sky was crying with us; it was totally setting the mood. Today's the last day I'm seeing Sirko. She's going to be packing, and I'll be there just to stare at her and maybe help her. I woke up pretty late because I had stayed up late the previous night. I ate from Burger King and received some very interesting news from Sirko. She had her first kiss. Which, should I even be writing about this? I will anyway because she's my bestest friend, and every huge event for her is a huge event for me too. I was speedrunning my burger that I literally spilled it on myself. I went to her house almost immediately after that. On my car ride there, I was already tearing up. I couldn't even sing because I could feel my throat tightening up, and I knew well that it would just crack. We met up and just talked about the most random stuff. She was stalling because she didn't want to tell her boy story, even though she wanted to share it. It was confusing. Some other main topics we had were the leftovers, us being guys (oh, oh, where's my dick at?), her scrunchie revenge plan, how to fit all her stuff in her suitcase, L, meow meow, and honestly, a lot more. Speaking of the suitcase, when we were trying our best to close it, we had to do this thing where we were sitting and jumping on it. My small brain decided to go on top of and jump out of it, which was pretty stupid, and that led to me accidentally falling on a Lego that was shaped like a crown. I bled. It was funny. I brought along the glass beads we bought yesterday and made her an anklet that would match the bracelet I was wearing too. She finally told me her story. It was insane, but I won't tell it here. Her sister's kind-of-boyfriend got food for both of us. Thank you for that. Sirko gave me like two of her books, and she wrote something inside them. She gave me other stuff too, which made me even sadder because I never was the sentimental type. She was. But I think I'll hold onto those things she gave me forever. We just had fun, despite her being panicked because she still had a ton to pack. I received a text from my mom saying she'd pick me up, and that's when I burst out in tears. I was sobbing and everything. I wanted all my friends to say goodbye to her too, so I started calling them. Only Ria answered; Brie was in the shower but called back immediately after; Tony said I hung up too quickly; Skylar didn't get the ring, and the others were just dead. I'll never have another friend like Sirko ever again. We're still gonna be friends, but it's just different. I cried so much last minute when the whole time none of us had the time to cry. I somehow felt relieved that I cried before I left. It really means that I cared about her that much. And I do. I don't know how to explain it but I'm glad I cried.
I cried some more even when I got home. I called Brie and Tony, and they just listened to me cry. After a while, I called Skylar, and he actually cheered me up. I stopped crying, and that was good. I think it was because he was making jokes. Whatever it was, thank you for the comfort. Such a real one. I went back to the call with Tony and the others. Around 5 AM, he woke me up since it was time for Sirko's flight. I still have no idea why I woke up that easily. Maybe I'm just a light sleeper. I told Sirko to have a safe flight and cried some more. Then Tony told me he heard me say this name in my sleep and started teasing me. I fell asleep soon after.

June 05, 2023

Sirko's departure is inevitable, and we have all fully accepted it. We arranged this little hangout to bid her the best and most memorable farewell in the history of farewells ever. Me, Sirko, Ria, Brie, and Mari—all of us were finally together for the first and last time, and it was perfect. Today has been a really long day, but I need to share how everyone contributed to making this work. Each of our stories was just insane. Allow me to explain.
Mari went the extra mile by traveling all the way from another island just to join us. I offered rides to everyone because, in order to make this work, we had to be where Ria was (which is kind of far) since she has the strictest parents ever. So, the story unfolded like this: I picked up Sirko from her house, and I swear I saw her smiling to herself when she saw my car. It was such a wholesome moment. Next, I picked up Mari, and it was highly anticipated since we hadn't seen her for three whole years. Just as we were getting ready to go, we received a text from Ria, who almost couldn't come due to a small problem. See, she hadn't told her parents about meeting up with us, so she was just sneaking out, but not entirely. Fortunately, she came up with a genius plan, and both Brie and I offered our help. With that, the problem was resolved. During the car ride, we discovered that Mari hadn't informed her parents either. In fact, she wasn't allowed to go out at all. Her mom had called her a few times, but she simply let it ring. Then, out of nowhere, Mari suddenly exclaimed, and I quote, "I'm in my room right now." She answered the call, and it was so comical. It was raining lies. She casually spoke to her mom while pretending to be in her room, and at one point, we arrived at our destination, and there was a loud car honk. She quickly incorporated it into the conversation, saying, "Mom, it's kinda noisy downstairs, so I'll wear my headphones." Somehow, she managed to get away with it. Sirko and I were freaking out but couldn't help but burst into uncontrollable laughter at the same time. Oh I forgot to mention that we were listening to my Sirko playlist the whole car ride.
We first met up with Brie in Starbucks, and now we were just waiting for Ria. We roamed the place around and were already having the best of times. Ria finally arrived, and we decided to eat at this Japanese food hall. Obviously, we had fun during that too. I gave Sirko a lock of my hair because she's weird like that and wants to clone me. We signed this receipt since Sirko's known for being extremely sentimental and keeping every receipt ever. It's the cutest. We caught Mari up with all she's missed. She's very low maintenance. We talk to her like once in a blue moon, but we still love her. We went to different shops. We didn't have any strict itinerary and kind of just let our feet take us wherever. What matters was that we were all finally here. We stopped by Muji, and Sirko and I just went to Marks and Spencers to buy this set of biscuits I really, really like. I fed it to everyone the whole time succeeding my purchase. We went to the arcade with the intention to do karaoke, but it was full. We looked for this photobooth next and sadly had to say bye to Ria. Sirko and Ria gave their last hugs. We looked around some more, then we rested at this coffee place. I bought beads from this bookstore directly above it. The only problem was that we didn't have scissors, so I really struggled. We ended up making Sirko this one bracelet that we all beaded together. It was so funny because each bead signified an event in her life, and Sirko kept on making jokes. The bracelet had these blue sections in the middle of different colors, which represented me because I love blue, even though my favorite color is purple. We finished it, and I swear everything was just so funny. Mari had to go, and since I was her (and Sirko's) ride, we said goodbye to Brie. Brie gave her last hug to Sirko too. I think I fell asleep in the car for a bit. My Sirko playlist still played. It was sad. I dropped Mari off, and they gave their final goodbyes too. I was just laughing because I knew I'd still see her tomorrow. I need to brace myself for the impact.
I got home and cried over call with Tony and Brie again. We talked about this friend of ours who isn't worthy of Biscoff that when she felt FOMO and invited us, it was out of stock. If you're reading this, and I know you aren't because you don't even care, we still love you; just not the person you've become. It's just that everybody tried so hard just to be there and you chose to give every excuse in the book and openly lied to us not knowing we all knew. Tony even made the L joke and props to him because it's genius. I made Brie a bracelet that same night while we continued talking and all that.
I'll put this here too because it's so cute but Tony told me that if he ever needed a distraction, he'd just call me because I'm very talkative in the best way possible. Anyway, we watched the Apple WWDC23 and I love Craig.

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June 04, 2023

I have my college entrance exam today, which is going to last for 5 hours. It's scheduled for noon so I have a bit of time. I woke up early and did some studying before heading to the venue. I have test anxiety so I went extra early. On the way, I stopped by Starbucks and felt nauseous in the car. It wasn't that I expected the test to be difficult, I think I was just over-studied. I needed caffeine. I got a venti one. Keep that in mind because it's gonna come around in the story again. While waiting in the room, I felt sick to my stomach and exchanged texts with a few friends who wished me the best of luck. Their messages were so wholesome. I want to particularly mention the small pep talk Skylar gave me, which actually boosted my spirits. Getting back to the test itself, we were given no breaks, and it involved continuously answering questions for half the day. We were allowed to bring food, but hardly anyone touched their snacks because they were focused on catching on the time pressure. Being the biggest nerd ever, I had some spare time to eat and drink. Drink a ton of said venti caffeine. We weren't allowed to use the bathroom. This led to me having to hold my pee in for 2 hours or so. The moment the test ended, my mind went blank. We had to wait for an hour more and I swear when they let us out, I immediately headed to the car. Soon enough, I found the nearest Starbucks and got to use their bathroom. When I could finally breathe, I thoguth about the test. I realized it was actually relatively easy. I did guess on some questions but I didn't struggle. Out of boredom, I glanced at my seatmate's paper, only to find it completely empty, which made me feel a bit sorry for them. Let me clarify that I was simply peeking out of curiosity; I'm too prideful of my own answers to cheat. I should mention that I completely zoned out toward the end of the test, and they had to call my attention. I'm not extremely confident about my chances of getting accepted, but I believe I did exceptionally well, particularly in English proficiency and reading comprehension. I mean, I had 10 minutes left, when the stories I heard from my friend's experience in taking the same test was it was impossible to finish. To be fair, I read a huge amount of books every year and practice speed reading.
To keep my mind off this huge test I had just taken for 5 hours straight, Sine and I decided to go out and watch a late-night showing of The Little Mermaid in the cinema. I went home first to take a quick shower (everybody knows my obsession with showers) and changed my outfit so it could match the movie). I love going on theme whenever I watch literally anything. It's so fun. I met up with Sine since we live near each other and our local mall is literally the best and prettiest thing ever. Sine took the same test I did but in a different location, so we talked about it and we actually had such a similar experience. While waiting for the movie to start, I bought like polymer clay because I didn't have spare change and I wanted to buy food. I haven't eaten anything the whole day. I swear I'm not starving myself. I really just don't have time. The movie was so good.
When I got home, Sirko FaceTimed me and she was bawling her eyes out. It was a drunk call and it sucked because she talked about Lane not wanting to see her and well, a guy who was love bombing her. After that, I got in a call with Tony and Brie again. I miss Wacky.

June 03, 2023

Today is a day for studying. The goal is to cram all the school material from 12 years into one night (even though I'm still in 11th grade). My current theory is that I am smart enough to manage. I know it's gonna be hard but I have so much trust in myself. I had a dermatologist appointment earlier in the day, which gave me a chance to rest before starting a study session that would last definitely more than 10 hours. As the day went on, I covered my door frame with my notes, which I love doing whenever I get the chance. It displayed my state of mind; my insanity. It feels satisfying to see everything posted up there. I studied all day, and I feel my post-study fever creeping up on me. I took a break after the day was over and had some late-night cereal. During the said break, I hung out with Tony, and we came up with a new handshake. The concept of "The Bridge" was also invented.

June 02, 2023

It's my baby brother's 5th birthday. Before I get into that, I should mention that my Duolingo streaks were lost on this very day. I had been maintaining them for over 600 days (though it shows as 500 due to frequent streak freeze usage). However, there's no need to worry because all I had to do was buy a streak repair, and my problem was instantly fixed. Now, back to my baby brother. As I have mentioned in previous entries, he has developed this obsession with DC and Marvel. Whenever it's his birthday week, we have a tradition of giving him multiple presents each day. Naturally, I also got him a gift. His cake this year was awesome it's by far my favorite. My mom has this thing with customized cakes and this year my baby brother received two of them. One had Venom, and the other had Super Mario. The cakes were accompanied by cupcakes that matched their themes. After spending some time playing with him, I retreated to my hermit cave to study, or at least, I attempted to. During my usual power nap, instead of waking up when my alarm went off, I made the choice of snoozing it every time. I know, it's terrible. I'm usually very disciplined when I have exams. But see, for some reason, I didn't feel as restricted this time. My intuition was telling me I could still do well and it acted as if there were no consequences for not studying. Don't get me wrong, I still eventually regained my momentum and managed to cover a lot during my study session. Throughout the day, I stayed in a silent VC with Brie and Tony. Near the end, I started feeling sick. Not in a health-related way, but in a something was disturbing the force and I was bothered by something I can't quite pinpoint. There was one particular thing on my mind, but it couldn't possibly be that... right?
Around like an ungodly time, I was still in call with Tony and I think Brie was deafened still studying. We got into this rabbit hole of childhood nostalgia. It all started when I showed his this video I really loved because of the comment section. It's the Sweden by C418 one. We told our minecraft stories and that was fun. Until 4 AM came and he started stalking my old twitter. Past Cy is something I bury, alright...

June 01, 2023

Yesterday, I briefly mentioned my FaceTime call with Sirko. But I failed to include the important detail of us being in a state of temporary insanity. It's a moment we agreed to never speak of ever again, like that one swimming hangout we had... Despite having little to no sleep, I still had to wake up early. Surprisingly, I managed to stay awake until 5 AM and somehow found the energy to get up at 8 AM. This is given under the conditions that I'd take a bunch of naps throughout the whole day, of course. The first item on my schedule was my brother's graduation. During the ceremony, I ended up sleeping for almost the entire duration, only waking up when it was my brother's turn to go up on stage. Interestingly, the valedictorian's speech resonated with me, even though I wasn't his intended target audience. It somehow managed to clarify and complicate my college decisions all at once.
I'm proud of my brother. Once I returned home, I decided to catch up on some more sleep. An hour after, I received what I thought was a study invitation from my friends. Since they lived nearby, I spontaneously accepted the invitation and went over to their house. Just to add on, Brie also invited me to study with her through VC but that's for later. Continuing on, I got lost on the way there despite having visited their house for over a gazillion times. I think I'm just bad at directions when they actually matter. I say that because I'm really really good at navigating my way in other countries that you could drop me off anywhere and I'd survive. I also almost got run over because my brain was too slow at processing which of the street I should stay on. Which, in the first place, why was I on the road? When I arrived there, I quickly found out that they actually had no plans of studying so I just went with it. I'm smart anyway. We went out and bought food and coffee. We did some karaoke because band practice was not doable. The keyboard was apparently placed somewhere else. I had lots of fun. They fed me well with the foods my mom restricts me from eating. I got picked up and went to the graduation dinner they're having for my brother. We had Japanese.
Still ending this day with Brie and Tony on VC. Brie got me this surprise thing she couldn't contain and showed me. It was Star Wars. Oh my god I love her so much. It's just so epic and awesome and cool and adorable and wholesome that she thought of me when she saw something Star Wars. Tony was sick and did a live swab test while I was rapping Eminem. He also showed me this thing and I think I died for a little bit.